Expectations
by Kreepi Spicer
Summary: One-Shot Nobody ever said life was fair. In fact, it can be quite cruel. The mild language accounts for the rating.


A/N: So, if you've been reading my story "A Complicated Obsession," I'm really sorry I haven't been updating it. I had some necessary surgery done on my mouth three weeks ago, and so one of the last things on my mind was working on that story.

Also, I have a slight warning about this story. Arnold is going to be slightly OOC. He may not be to some people, but I can see where he is to others. Just thought I'd let you know.

Disclaimer: I do not own HA! or any characters seen on the show.

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Helga Pataki wasn't someone who got upset easily. Minor things didn't set put her into tears like they did other girls, and she never became overemotional while going through her menstrual cycle. If something ever did upset her, she didn't show it in the form of blubbering, but in the form of anger. That was how she grew up. That was how she expected her life to stay.

At the current moment, Helga was in tears, although maintaining a normal voice as she spoke on the phone. She was wishing desperately she had a box of tissues in her apartment, but as this had never happened before, she had never seen them as a necessity, other than when she was sick. If she had ever predicted this moment (which she never would have), she would have bought twenty or thirty boxes prior to the event.

"I'm just so glad she said yes," he was saying to her, as she rubbed her face to try and rid them of the tears. A useless attempt, seeing as they wouldn't quit leaking from her puffy eyes. "I mean, I never would have seen it coming, especially when we were back in school."

"Well back in school, you were a dork," she replied in a tone that wasn't as playful sounding as she would've liked. Hearing his laugh just made the pain in her chest increase ten fold.

"Yeah well -" she could hear something in the background. A door opening, and a giggle. "Helga, I gotta go. We're going to go out to dinner to celebrate."

More tears came as she repressed an uncharacteristic sob. "Sure. And congratulations again Football Head." _I hope the bitch chokes on her food._

"Thanks. Bye!" Then there was the seemingly deafening click. As she hung up, she let it all out. She didn't try to repress the sobs, or wipe away the tears. She just let it all happen. She let herself be a human.

It was 8th grade when Phoebe Heyerdahl moved from the small city of Hillwood, to Japan with her family. Helga lost her best friend the day she had moved. They had kept in contact for a while after she left, but it slowly died down to a phone call a year. Last she had heard, Phoebe was the youngest corporate executer for some company that actually tried to make a positive difference in the world.

After Phoebe had moved, Helga was friendless. Nobody liked her, and if they had ever talked to her before, it was only out of respect for Phoebe, who was always nice to everyone. The only person who bothered to go near her after the move was Arnold. It wasn't a huge shock to everyone. Mr. Goody Two Shoes whose nice to everyone regardless of his actual thoughts about them. Everyone assumed he had to hate Helga. He was always the one she picked on and bullied the most, and he took it all in a cool attitude.

The two had arguments frequently. She was always shouting about how she didn't need anyone, least of all him. He argued that if it weren't for him, she would probably be some juvenile delinquent. Slowly though, the arguments began to fade. It was almost an exact year after Phoebe had moved, that Gerald too left the city. Arnold was extremely quiet afterwards to everyone; except Helga. A year after Gerald left, the two started going out. That's when everyone became shocked.

After a while, it made sense to some. To others who thought back on it now, it still was a mystery. To everyone though, once they were in junior year, it was clear how much they were in love. Even when they fought, it was easy to spot how much it tore them apart inside.

Arnold and Helga continued to go out until their sophomore year in college. They went to separate colleges, but met up as frequently as they could. It all collapsed eventually though. Helga was more in depth with her studies, and the two met fewer and fewer times until eventually she ended the relationship. It killed both of them, and for the final two years of college, they rarely spoke. Once they graduated, however, Helga believed she could get back the Football Head she had loved since pre-school. So it was a shock when she got in touch with him again and found out he had a new love: Lila Sawyer.

How many times Helga had yelled into her pillow after she found that out, she wasn't sure. Of course Arnold couldn't pick someone Helga didn't know, or didn't hate. He had to choose the one person Helga would love to see fall off a cliff; or better still, Helga would love to push off a cliff.

Arnold and Helga almost immediately became best friends once again. They saw each other at least three times a week, and talked on the phone about five times in that week. More than once, Helga went out to dinner with both Arnold and his goody-goody girlfriend, who always talked about trying to find a good man for Helga. Helga would always make a laugh at that and merely state that she had no interest in men so long as her career was at the forefront of her life.

She hated it when he talked about her. He'd say stuff like "I don't know how I ever lived without you," and "Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if our relationship had worked," and then he'd bring her up. Every single time. It drove her insane. She didn't want to hear the he had gone star gazing with her, that he'd cooked an amazing dinner for her, or that he had let her pick out any movie she wanted to watch because he knew he was going to be watching her the entire time and not the movie. Those were things he had done for her. Those were her memories that she held so close, and now those memories were intertwined with the fact that Miss Perfect was getting all of that. It made the world seem all the more cruel.

Sometimes she thought Arnold was a jerk for doing that. For bringing up their past, or saying he loved her and then bring up Lila. Other times she knew how it was in his mind. The two were best friends; they shared everything. As much as she had always wanted to tell him not to talk about her though, she never could bring herself to do it. She knew that if she ever found someone else and she wanted to talk about him, he would listen and never complain, just as she did now.

Through all of this inner turmoil though, Helga never cried. Not once. She had always had a feeling deep within her that either Arnold would realize that he wanted Helga and not Lila, or that Lila would revert to not wanting Arnold, as she did off an on all through elementary, middle, and high school.

Tonight was different.

Now that they were engaged, everything was different. The chances of either of her ideas coming true were much more slim now. She wasn't thinking straight. She was barely thinking at all, except that she would never get him now and that she hoped Lila would die.

Helga heard something break and looked up. One of her lamps had collapsed onto the floor and glass was sprawled everywhere. A pillow lay not to far away from the mess. Helga blinked, more tears spilling down as she did, and realized that she must have thrown the pillow without even knowing it.

_I am that lamp,_ she thought. _I used to be whole, but one unsuspected thing hits me and I'm a mess. Hell, if Big Bob could see me now, he'd hit me upside the head. _

Helga rolled over on her bed and looked at her alarm clock. 11:29 pm. _Going out to dinner to celebrate my ass. I guess Lila's the main course._ The thought brought about a sob that she tried to repress. Instead, it led to her choking slightly. After a short while, she calmed down enough to be able to lay down and attempt to go to sleep.

_Think Helga, this whole emotional girl thing can't last forever. Give it a week tops, and you'll be back to your old self,_ this thought put a small, sad smile on her face just before she drifted slowly off into a troubled sleep.

**

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**

2 Months Later

**4 Months until Wedding**

Helga had dealt with the worst two months of her life. Arnold and Lila had decided that since each of their best friends was of the opposite sex, that they would fill the positions of Best Woman and Man of Honor. They had decided there would be no bridesmaids or groomsmen. They had decided an outdoor marriage at a local botanical garden with only the four of them and the priest. They had also set the date.

Every single night, she went to sleep crying. She cried while on the phone with Arnold, when she thought about him for too long, and sometimes she'd have to excuse herself to the bathroom to have an emotional breakdown because she had spent so long with him. She was having so much difficulty adjusting to this whole situation that she wasn't sure how she was still alive.

Last night had been the worst. It was the first time since he had proposed to Lila that he had told Helga that he loved her. She had to restrain herself from asking "More than Lila?" Although it was a question she wanted to know the answer to more than anything.

* * *

**1 Week Until Wedding**

Helga surveyed the area with extreme disgust. It was bad enough she had to be here, where she would be in a week for the worst day of her life, but it was 100 times, _No, one million times,_ she mentally corrected, being here with Lila. She had to do everything in her power to stop herself from going over to the area in the garden where they had a lovely display of poison oak, grabbing it, and stuffing it all in Lila's clothes. Sure, she'd get some poison oak on her hands, but she had had it before and knew that she recovered very quickly from it.

She wanted to stop this wedding, more than anything, but she didn't want to ruin the wedding and Arnold know it was because of her. It would obviously piss him off, and that was the one thing she didn't want to do. So she purposefully made sure that everything she did, she did to please him. _Like coming to this godforsaken place with the queen bitch herself._

After this check on the botanical garden was done, everything would be done. Everything would be ready and the next week would just be the wait. Helga wondered if the wait would be longer now that the date was approaching and there was nothing to do.

**

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**

Day of the Wedding

When Helga woke up and saw the beautiful light purple dress before her, she groaned. Butterflies were entering her stomach as she got out of bed and walked to the dress. She thought the ruffles at the end were a bit much, but that overall it could've been much worse. _It could've been green,_ she thought with a shudder. She grabbed the dress and changed into it. The wedding was at two, but she had to be there by eleven to help Lila out with her dress and to make sure everything was perfect. It was ten already.

Helga went into the bathroom and blow-dried her hair that was still wet from last night's shower, and decided to let it hang straight. She decided to wear a silver hair band that would go with her shoes and that went well with the dress. She pulled out the makeup kit and blew off the dust. Makeup had never been a top priority of her, and besides lip gloss, she never wore it. But she was today. Mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, foundation, blush, lipstick, nail polish . . . it all went on quickly and without much fuss. Walking quickly into her room, she put on her silver heels and grabbed her clutch purse. With car keys in hand, she rushed out the door and drove for twenty minutes over to the botanical garden. As she drove, she cursed the fair weather, immensely wishing there had been or tornado, or extreme thunder storm with flash flooding last night to ruin today.

Helga got into the front building and saw Lila standing there with her dress hanging over her arm. The only time during the entire six month period that Helga had been filled with glee was when Lila showed her the dress. It was so god-awful ugly! She had never seen a worse wedding dress in her life. It was, of course, white with beads spread apart attached to it. At the end of the dress, there was a humongous flair and bunched up ruffles. Also incorporated the hideous nightmare was a bow, located at the centered top of the dress. The veil also came with beads attached to it and when Helga had seen it, she tried so hard not to laugh. If she had, Lila would have no doubt returned it in favor of a different dress.

Lila talked incessantly, taking little breaths during her monologue. She wouldn't shut up about how this was the best day of her life, and how she knew she would always have him, and how she hoped ever so much that nothing bad would happen to change his feelings towards her because hers would never change for him. It angered Helga to hear this, but she maintained a quiet and calm approach to the situation as she zipped Lila into the dress in the private room. She was going to help Lila with the makeup but the woman insisted she could do it herself and told Helga to go check the garden.

When Helga got outside, she saw Arnold's car parked out front. She froze and stared at it for a moment, although she knew he wasn't in it. She turned around slowly and saw the garden. A small smirk came to her face as she stood there looking at it. If Arnold had been standing there and saw it, he would've known that the wheels in her head were turning, and that an idea was forming. Still looking at the garden she raised her arm, pointed her index finger and drew an invisible check mark in the air, over the garden. "Check," she muttered. She ran over to the door of the building and flung open the door. She ran up the staircase, and looked at each door until she found Arnold's room number. She knocked gently at the door, and began to slowly twist the doorknob. "Arnold?" she asked quietly. The last thing she needed was for Lila to somehow interrupt this.

"Helga!" he exclaimed. "Get in here and help me with these cufflinks." Helga opened the door all the way and saw Arnold standing there in his dress shirt and black pants. He had yet to put on his socks and shoes, fix his hair, put on his cummerbund, or his jacket. He smiled at her as she entered the room. "Stupid Rob. He was supposed to get here and help."

Helga smiled gently. He looked amazing and as she walked closer, her became even more amazing. She looked into his eyes for a second before reaching down and grabbing the cufflinks gently out of his hands. She put them on without a word, just maintaining a small smile on her face. Sure, she had had an idea before, but that idea had only been how to say she checked off the garden. Now, she wasn't quite sure what to do. When she finished, she looked back up at him. "I can't believe my Football Head is getting' hitched."

He shrugged. "I can hardly believe it either." The way he had said it imposed as if there was something more. Something in which Helga would have to read between the lines.

"Ya know," she said, "I've been standing here for about two, three minutes now and you have not said a single word about how absolutely gorgeous I look."

"I forgot to mention that? Well now I don't quite see the point seeing as you know it without me saying so." He looked into her eyes and beamed. "Helga, you look fabulous."

"Fabulous enough to marry?"

The question took both of them aback. The way Helga had said it, it could've been taken as a joke. But both of them knew that it was a serious question.

Arnold tried to play it off as though it weren't. "Oh you know some guy is going to see you in that dress and will try sweeping you off your feet and marrying you on the spot."

"Arnold . . ."

He sighed. "Why now?"

"Because tomorrow will be too late and yesterday is the past."

"And today doesn't seem too late."

Her heart felt like it was slowly being torn in half again. But she kept going. "So you haven't thought about what might be happening if we were still together."

"I know what would be happening, Helga," he said, certainty clear in his voice, as sadness with a tinge of anger were apparent in his eyes. "You left me Helga. You broke up with me. I was willing to deal with everything. I didn't care that we didn't see each other that much. Knowing that you were mine, regardless of everything, is exactly what kept me smiling.

"Helga, do you know that the week before we broke up, I had went and bought a ring for you. That at the end of our sophomore year in college, I was going to propose to you?"

Her world came crashing down on her. He was going to propose? He had bought an engagement ring just before she broke up with him? "No," was all she could mutter.

He turned his back to her and began pacing the room. "Helga, you broke my heart. You took it out and threw it against a wall. I was a mess after it happened. For weeks, months, I was a mess. Lila was there for me, comforted me even though she knew nothing about me wanting to marry you. Lila and I started going out as a cause of rebound on my end, but it stuck. She helped me to forgive you. If it wasn't for her, I don't know if we would be friends right now."

_This can't be happening,_ Helga thought. "Arnold -"

"Helga, I think I would've gone back to you before this. If you had shown some sign of wanting me, or told me sooner, I would've left Lila in a heartbeat. But you didn't say a word. You said flat out you didn't want a man in your life."

"But that was because Lila was going to try to set me up with some loser!"

"Helga think. If you had said yes, that you already had your eyes on someone special, I would've come to you afterwards, or called you or something to find out everything. You didn't. And now . . ." he hesitated.

"And now?"

"And now Helga, it's too late."

"Too late?"

He turned around and grabbed her arms, pinning them to her sides. "Yes Helga, too late! I'm marrying Lila."

_This isn't happening._ "You love me though. You love me!"

He sighed, still holding onto her. "Not anymore," and with that he released his grasp on her. There was silence in the room as the two thought. Helga was crying now, while Arnold began his pacing once more. He grabbed his socks, sat down on the chair and began putting them on. "Helga," he mumbled.

She looked at him, and whispered, "Yes?"

He gazed at her for a few seconds before looking back at his feet and saying, "I think it would be best if you leave. If you want to leave the wedding you can. I'll tell Lila something came up and you had to leave early or something."

More tears. "You want me to go?"

"I think it would be best for both of us if you did, yes."

She emitted a sob, the gained her a sad look from him, but nothing else. She walked towards the door. "Arnold?"

"Helga, I'm sorry about all of this."

"Good-bye."

"Good-bye to you too."

Helga opened the door, but paused. It was a small pause, and lasted a fraction of a second. She walked through the doorway and closed it she did so. She walked down the hallway, down the staircase, her mind a jumble of non-coherent thoughts. When she got outside, she collapsed on the ground. Nothing had gone as she had planned. She hadn't gotten him back. He wasn't hers. He never would be.

Helga sat there for what seemed like forever. In her mind, she always sat there. In reality, time was moving on. Rob, the Man of Honor for Lila appeared about an thirty minutes before the wedding was to begin, completely intoxicated. He noticed Helga sitting on the ground, and asked her if she'd like to bail. She nodded, stood up, and walked to his car. While they were driving to a bar, Arnold was watching Lila walk down the aisle. While Helga was walking into the bar, Lila was stating her vows to Arnold. While Helga heard Rob's story about how he and Lila were together until he had screwed it up, Arnold and Lila were getting into a car that read "Just Married" on the back.

After that day, Helga would come in and out of consciousness. Some days, she knew what had happened. Others, she was still sitting on the ground at the garden. One day, when she became conscious again, she realized she was married to Rob. Months later, she realized she was pregnant. Years later, she realized was stuck in a loveless marriage, saddled down with four children, all of whom could not understand why their mother was almost catatonic most of the day. Helga never knew that she had seen Arnold and Lila frequently, along with their two children, because it was always when she was in her dream state. Helga saw her three grandkids once, along with one of her great-grandkids. She never once realized her husband had died from a heart attack, or that Lila had died months later of breast cancer. The only time Helga was truly and completely aware of everything was the moment before she too left the Earth.

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A/N: OK, I don't like how it turned out really. The story was supposed to be based on something I was going through about . . . .four or five hours ago and that I have been going through for months now. But then I decided to get into marriage and the ending . . . it's very blah to me. I could change it, but right now it's 3:16 am and I'm tired. I'll try to get a chapter of "A Complicated Obsession" up next weekend.


End file.
